Tafsir of Surah An-Nisa' - Verse 129

The Ruling Concerning Desertion on the Part of the Husband

Allah states, and thus legislates accordingly, that sometimes, the man inclines away from his wife, sometimes towards her and sometimes he parts with her. In the first case, when the wife fears that her husband is steering away from her or deserting her, she is allowed to forfeit all or part of her rights, such as provisions, clothing, dwelling, and so forth, and the husband is allowed to accept such concessions from her. Hence, there is no harm if she offers such concessions, and if her husband accepts them. This is why Allah said,

فَلاَ جُنَاْحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحاً

(there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves;) He then said,

وَالصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ

(and making peace is better) than divorce. Allah's statement,

وَأُحْضِرَتِ الأنفُسُ الشُّحَّ

(And human souls are swayed by greed.) means, coming to peaceful terms, even when it involves forfeiting some rights, is better than parting. Abu Dawud At-Tayalisi recorded that Ibn `Abbas said, "Sawdah feared that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ might divorce her and she said, `O Messenger of Allah! Do not divorce me; give my day to `A'ishah.' And he did, and later on Allah sent down,

وَإِنِ امْرَأَةٌ خَـفَتْ مِن بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزاً أَوْ إِعْرَاضاً فَلاَ جُنَاْحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ

(And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no sin on them both) Ibn `Abbas said, "Whatever (legal agreement) the spouses mutually agree to is allowed.". At-Tirmidhi recorded it and said, "Hasan Gharib". In the Two Sahihs, it is recorded that `A'ishah said that when Sawdah bint Zam`ah became old, she forfeited her day to `A'ishah, and the Prophet used to spend Sawdah's night with `A'ishah. There is a similar narration also collected by Al-Bukhari. Al-Bukhari also recorded that `A'ishah commented;

وَإِنِ امْرَأَةٌ خَـفَتْ مِن بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزاً أَوْ إِعْرَاضاً

(And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part), that it refers to, "A man who is married to an old woman, and he does not desire her and wants to divorce her. So she says, `I forfeit my right on you.' So this Ayah was revealed."

Meaning of "Making Peace is Better

Allah said,

وَالصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ

(And making peace is better). `Ali bin Abi Talhah related that Ibn `Abbas said that the Ayah refers to, "When the husband gives his wife the choice between staying with him or leaving him, as this is better than the husband preferring other wives to her." However, the apparent wording of the Ayah refers to the settlement where the wife forfeits some of the rights she has over her husband, with the husband agreeing to this concession, and that this settlement is better than divorce. For instance, the Prophet kept Sawdah bint Zam`ah as his wife after she offered to forfeit her day for `A'ishah. By keeping her among his wives, his Ummah may follow this kind of settlement. Since settlement and peace are better with Allah than parting, Allah said,

وَالصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ

(and making peace is better). Divorce is not preferred with Allah. The meaning of Allah's statement,

وَإِن تُحْسِنُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيراً

(But if you do good and have Taqwa, verily, Allah is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do) if you are patient with the wife you dislike and treat her as other wives are treated, then Allah knows what you do and will reward you for it perfectly. Allah's statement,

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَآءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ

(You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire,) means, O people! You will never be able to be perfectly just between wives in every respect. Even when one divides the nights justly between wives, there will still be various degrees concerning love, desire and sexual intimacy, as Ibn `Abbas, `Ubaydah As-Salmani, Mujahid, Al-Hasan Al-Basri and Ad-Dahhak bin Muzahim stated. Imam Ahmad and the collectors of the Sunan recorded that `A'ishah said, "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to treat his wives equally and proclaim,

«اللَّهُمَّ هَذَا قَسْمِي فِيمَا أَمْلِكُ، فَلَا تَلُمْنِي فِيمَا تَمْلِكُ وَلَا أَمْلِك»

(O Allah! This is my division in what I own, so do not blame me for what You own and I do not own) referring to his heart. This was the wording that Abu Dawud collected, and its chain of narrators is Sahih. Allah's statement,

فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ

(so do not incline too much to one of them) means, when you like one of your wives more than others, do not exaggerate in treating her that way,

فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ

(so as to leave the other hanging. ) referring to the other wives. Ibn `Abbas, Mujahid, Sa`id bin Jubayr, Al-Hasan, Ad-Dahhak, Ar-Rabi` bin Anas, As-Suddi and Muqatil bin Hayyan said that Mu`allaqah hanging means, "She is neither divorced nor married." Abu Dawud At-Tayalisi recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,

«مَنْ كَانَتْ لَهُ امْرَأَتَانِ فَمَالَ إِلى إِحْدَاهُمَا، جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَأَحَدُ شِقَّيْهِ سَاقِط»

(Whoever has two wives and inclines to one of them (too much), will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides dragging.) Allah's statement,

وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً

(And if you do justice, and do all that is right and have Taqwa, then Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) The Ayah states: If you do justice and divide equally in what you have power over, while fearing Allah in all conditions, then Allah will forgive you the favoritism that you showed to some of your wives. Allah then said,

وَإِن يَتَفَرَّقَا يُغْنِ اللَّهُ كُلاًّ مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ وَسِعاً حَكِيماً

(But if they separate (divorce), Allah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His bounty. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Wise. ) This is the third case between husband and wife, in which divorce occurs. Allah states that if the spouses separate by divorce, then Allah will suffice them by giving him a better wife and her a better husband. The meaning of,

وَكَانَ اللَّهُ وَسِعاً حَكِيماً

(And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Wise.) is: His favor is tremendous, His bounty is enormous and He is All-Wise in all His actions, decisions and commandments.

No one is responsible for something beyond his control

In order to make married life pleasant and stable, the Holy Qur'an has given important instructions to both parties in these verses. Out of these, there is the verse: وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ (And you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives ... -129) which carries a special instruction for both. At this point it will be recalled that the Holy Qur'an has already established in the beginning of Surah al-Nis-a' that a man who holds more than one wife in the bond of marriage is duty-bond to maintain justice and equality among all wives, and that if one thinks that he would be unable to fulfill this obligation, he should not take more than one wife. It was said: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً "But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman (4:3)."

The Holy Prophet ﷺ has, by his word and deed, declared that maintaining justice and equality among wives is a very emphatic injunction and he has given stern warnings to those who contravene it. Sayyidah ` A'ishah ؓ has said that the Holy Prophet ﷺ took great care in making perfectly sure that he treats his wives equally and justly. While he did so, he prayed to Allah:

اَللَّھُمَّ ھٰذا قَسمِی فِیمَا اَملِکُ ، فَلَا تَلُمنِی فِیمَا تَملِکُ وَلَا اَملِکُ

O Allah, this equalization of mine is in what I have in my control, therefore, do not make me answerable for what is in Your control (that is, emotional inclination) and not in mine.

Who could be in control of his self more than the Holy Prophet ﷺ ?

Yet, the matter of emotional inclination was what he too ruled as something out of his control and prayed to Almighty Allah that he be excused on that count.

The veneer of the words in verse 3 of Surah al-Nis-a' gave' the impression that maintaining equity between wives was ark absolute obligation which, obviously, includes equity in emotional inclination while this is something not in one's control. Therefore, in this verse of the Surah al-Nisa', the matter was clarified by saying that in things which one does not control, equality is not obligatory. However, equality shall be observed in matters within one's control, for example, equality in spending nights with them, their living standards and cost of maintenance. Allah Almighty has revealed this injunction in a way which compels a God-fearing person to put it into practice. It was said: وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَ‌صْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُ‌وهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ (And you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives, even though you are eager to. So, do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other hanging).

This leads us to realize that the inability to maintain equality pointed out in this verse actually refers to the equality in emotional inclination which is beyond human control. Then, the words of this verse: فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ (So, do not lean totally ...) themselves contain the justification of this sense. This is because the words mean: 'Even though maintaining equality in emotional inclination is not within your power, yet you should not lean totally towards one of your wives so much so that you start preferring her even in matters which lie within your power and control'.

Thus, this verse of Surah al-Nisa' (129) becomes a clarification of the earlier verse (3) of the same Surah which outwarldly appeared to be suggesting that equality in motional inclination too was obligatory. Now, this verse makes it precisely clear that this is not obligatory because it does not lie in one's power. Instead, what is obligatory is the equality in matters which do lie in one's power and discretion.

This verse cannot be used against polygamy

Incidentally, the details appearing above also serve to remove the misunderstanding of those who, by juxtaposing these two verses, wish to conclude that the verse appearing at the beginning of Surah al-Nis'a

(3) says: 'If you cannot maintain equality between wives, marry only one'; while, the other verse (129) says: 'Maintaining equality between two wives is just not possible'; therefore, the outcome is: The very keeping of two (or more) wives in the bond of marriage is impermissible as such!

Though surprising, Allah Almighty has Himself phrased these very two verses with the necessary material to remove this misunderstanding. The indication given in the present verses by the use of the words: فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ (So, do not lean totally) has appeared immediately before while the words used in verse 3 were: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً "But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman." Here, in the later verse, saying: 'If you fear' as a condition openly indicates that maintaining justice and equality between wives is not beyond the realm of possibility or ability. Otherwise, there was no need for this extended word arrangement, more so, not to the limit of two full verses. For example, the verse which says: حُرِّ‌مَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ (Forbidden for you are your mothers and your daughters - 4:23) carries details pertaining to women marriage with whom is forbidden. Then, by saying: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (and that you combine two sisters in the bond of marriage - 4:23), it has been declared that combining two sisters in marriage is unlawful. Similarly, it was quite possible to say that having more than one wife simultaneously is unlawful. If so, the restriction of بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (two sisters) with وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا (that you combine) would have become redundant. It was possible to say this in one single sentence, something like: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (and that you combine two women in the bond of marriage) which would have made it unlawful in the absolute sense. But, the Holy Qur'an avoids this lexical brevity for the sake of a longer narration, the detail of which extends to as much as two full verses. This treatment also indicates that the verse: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ )that you combine two sisters in the bond of marriage - 4:23) is, in a way, suggesting the justification of combining more than one woman in the bond of marriage which is quite permissible with the condition that they should not be sisters of each other

The differences emerging between husband and wife or between any other two persons largely result from greed. One party, without any consideration for the other, wants his demands to be fulfilled. This mentality leads to distrust between the two. The proper course is for each party to give thought to the other’s problems and making due allowances, try to reach some consensus. Just as God desires people to be considerate to one another, similarly He shows the maximum consideration to His servants. God does not seize man for his natural weaknesses but rather takes man to task for his deliberate excesses and acts of injustice out of haughtiness and insolence. If man fears God and has the urge of reform in his heart, all his acts done with the right intentions would be considered pardonable in the Hereafter. Besides, one should never nurture such thoughts in his mind that it is he who is behind the success of such and such a person and that if he had not helped that person, success could never have been achieved. One must remember the fact that God alone is the provider. He alone is behind every success and achievement, and His help may come under diverse sets of circumstances.