Commentary
It has been repeatedly explained earlier that the majority of injunctions appearing in Surah Al-Ahzab relate to the reverence, love and perfect obedience of the Holy Prophet ﷺ or to the prohibition of causing any pain to him. The verses cited above have also been revealed in connection with some incidents of this nature.
One such incident related to Sayyidna Zayd Ibn Harithah who was the slave of someone. It was during the days of Jahiliyyah that the Holy Prophet ﷺ had bought him from the famous bazaar of ` Ukaz. He was still very young at that time. The Holy Prophet ﷺ had freed him after purchasing him, and further honored him by adopting him as his son as was the common practice under the Arab custom of the time and went on to bring him up. In Makkah al-Mukarramah, he was called by the name of Zayd Ibn Muhammad. The Qur'an declared it to be an erroneous custom of the Jahiliyyah and prohibited the calling of the so-called or adopted son of a person as his 'son' and ordered that he should be attributed to his real father. Revealed in this connection were verses that have appeared earlier within this Surah: ادْعُوهُمْ لِآبَائِهِمْ (Call them by (the name of) their (real) fathers - 5) After the revelation of these injunctions, the noble Sahabah abandoned the practice of calling him by the name of Zayd Ibn Muhammad and started attributing him to his father, Harithah.
A subtle point
Not even the name of the greatest of the great Sahabi - of course, except that of the blessed prophets - was ever mentioned throughout the Qur'an with the sole exception of Sayyidna Zayd Ibn Harithah! Some respected elders while describing the wisdom behind it have said that the attribution of his parentage to the Holy Prophet ﷺ when severed under the injunction of the Qur'an had him deprived of a great personal honor. However, Allah Ta’ ala had it compensated by mentioning him in the Qur'an by name. Thus, the word: زَید (Zayd), being a word of the Qur'an, has its own distinct status. On every letter of this word, in accordance with the promise in Hadith, ten good deeds are recorded in the Book of Deeds. So, when his name is recited in the Qur'an, the reciter gets thirty good deeds in return just for pronouncing his name!
Even the Holy Prophet ﷺ used to give him respect. Sayyidah ` A'ishah ؓ says, 'Whenever he has sent him on a military expedition, it is invariably him that he has made the commander of the forces.' (Ibn Kathir)
A lesson to remember
This, in a nutshell, was the reality of slavery at the advent of Islam when slaves were educated and trained till they became achievers and whoever from them proved his class and capability was given the rank of leaders.
When Zayd Ibn Harithah grew to be a young man, the Holy Prophet ﷺ chose Sayyidah Zainab bint Jahsh, the daughter of his paternal aunt for marriage with him. A formal proposal of marriage was sent. Since Sayyidna Zayd was branded with the conventional label of being a freed slave, Sayyidah Zainab and her brother, ` Abdullah Ibn Jahsh rejected this proposal on the basis that they were nobler than him in terms of family and lineage.
Revealed upon this incident was the verse: مَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ (And it is not open for a believing man or a believing woman - 36). The instruction given there is: When the Holy Prophet ﷺ orders someone to do something as an obligation, it becomes obligatory for that person to do it. The choice of not doing it does not remain valid under Islamic Law - even if the required act may not be obligatory or necessary in its origin. But, once he does order someone to do that, it become incumbent and obligatory on him. And should someone not do so, his or her action has been termed as open error at the end of the verse.
When Sayyidah Zainab bint Jahsh ؓ and her brother heard this verse, they retracted from their rejection and agreed to the proposal of marriage. Thus, the marriage was solemnized. The dower of the bride was paid by the Holy Prophet ﷺ on behalf of Sayyidna Zayd which was ten dinars [ equal to approximately 4 tolas of gold), (equal to approximately 18-1/2 tolas of silver), one beast of burden, complete pair of ladies dress, 15 mudd (approximately 25 kilos) of flour and 10 mudd (approximately 5 kilos) of dates (Ibn Kathir). The well-known event in the background of the revelation of this verse is, according to the majority of commentators, no other but this very account of the marriage of Sayyidah Zainab bint Jahsh (Ibn Kathir, Qurtubi and Mazhari).
Ibn Kathir and some other commentators have also reported two additional events of this nature. There too, it has been said that the cited verse has been revealed in the background of those events. One of these events is about Sayyidna Julaibib ؓ whose proposal to marry the daughter of an Ansari Sahabi was turned down by the father and his family. When this verse was revealed, they agreed and the marriage was solemnized. The Holy Prophet ﷺ made a du'a (prayer) for extended means of livelihood for them. The noble Companions say that Allah had placed such barakah in their home that it was known to be the most generously kept home of Madinah at-Tayyibah. Later, Sayyidna Julaibib ؓ met with his shahadah in a Jihad. The Holy Prophet ﷺ bathed and shrouded his body with his own blessed hands.
A similar event relating to Umm Kulthum bint 'Uqbah Ibn Abi Mu'ait has been reported in Hadith narrations (Ibn Kathir, Qurtubi) and there is no contradiction in them. It is possible that several events of this nature may have been the cause of the revelation of the verse.
The Injunction to consider the principle of کفو (kuf) in marriage
The reason why Sayyidah Zainab bint Jahsh ؓ and her brother ` Abdullah had initially rejected the proposal of marriage with Sayyidna Zayd Ibn Harithah was that the two of them had no familial and lineal homogeneity, which is desirable even in the sight of the Shari'ah. The Holy Prophet ﷺ said that girls should be married in their کفو (kuf': equal, alike, matching) (to be explained later). Therefore, a question arises here as to why the excuse of Sayyidah Zainab and her brother was not accepted in this case?
The answer is that the equality, rather equalness (کَفَاءت :kafa’ ah) and likeness of spouses in their religion is certainly incumbent and necessary for the validity of the marriage. The marriage of any Muslim girl with any disbeliever is not halal (lawful) under the consensus of the Muslim ummah - even if the girl agrees to it. The reason is that this is not simply the right of a woman which may be dropped at her pleasure. Instead, it is the right of Allah and a Divinely imposed duty. On the contrary, equality of the spouses in financial and lineal status is the right of the girl and in the matter of lineal equality, the guardians too have right along with the girl. If a sane and adult girl, despite being from a wealthy family, were to drop her right by agreeing to marry some pauper, the choice is hers. And in lineal equality, if the girl and her guardians, all of them, abandon this right for the sake of some other major expedient consideration and agree to the proposal of marriage from a person who is lesser than them in terms of lineage and family status, then, they have the right to do so. In fact, should this be in view of higher religious consideration, the act of surrendering this right is most desirable and praiseworthy. It is for this reason that the Holy Prophet ﷺ has, on several occasions, recommended that this right should be ignored and marriage should be solemnized because of higher and more beneficial religious considerations.
And clear indicators set forth in the noble Qur'an prove that the right of the Holy Prophet ﷺ on the men and women of his ummah is more than that of anyone else. In fact, it is more than that of their own self - as the Qur'an says: النَّبِيُّ أَوْلَىٰ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ مِنْ أَنفُسِهِمْ that is, 'The Prophet is closer to the believers than their own selves - 33:6.' Therefore, in the case of Sayyidah Zainab ؓ and her brother, ` Abdullah, when the Holy Prophet ﷺ advised them to ignore their right to lineal equality and ordered them to agree to the marriage with Sayyidna Zayd Ibn Harithah ؓ ، it was their duty to bypass their personal opinion and their own rights in the face of this prophetic order. Therefore, it was on this refusal from them that this injunction of the Qur'an was revealed.
As for the lineal consideration in marriage, one may ask when it was worthy of consideration in the sight of the Holy Prophet ﷺ himself, why would he himself not go by it? The answer to this doubt is already clear from the earlier submission, that is, this consideration is worth surrendering in favour of other higher and more beneficial religious considerations. During the blessed period of the Holy Prophet ﷺ ، several marriages were solemnized among non-equals (ghayr-kuf' ) as based on these very kinds of beneficial religious considerations which do not violate the principle.
The Issue of Equality in marriage (Kaf'ah)
Marriage (nikah) is a matter in which the absence of homogeneity in the temperaments of the spouses disturbs the purpose of marriage, disturbs the process of fulfilling each other's rights and breeds mutual disputes. Therefore, the Shari` ah has ordered that kafa'ah (mutual likeness) should be taken into consideration. But, it never means that a man of high family background starts taking a man from a family lesser than him as low and mean. In Islam, the criterion of low and high is based on Taqwa and love for one's faith. Whoever does not have it, no matter how noble his family is, he yet has no status in the sight of Allah. So, this order to take kafa'ah (mutual equality) into consideration in marriages has been given only to keep the management of matters smooth and straight.
In a Hadith, the Holy Prophet ﷺ has been reported to have said that the nikah (marriage) of girls should invariably be through their guardians (that is, it is not appropriate even for a pubescent girl that she settles the transaction of her nikah (marriage) all by herself. Modesty demands that this matter should be handled by her parents and guardians). And he said that the nikah of girls should invariably be solemnized within their kuf' (equal, like). Though, the authority of this Hadith is weak but, with the support from the reports and sayings of the noble Sahabah, it becomes worth being used as an argument. In Kitab ul-'Athar, Imam Muhammad has reported Sayyidna ` Umar ؓ saying: "I shall issue an operative order that no girl from some high and recognized family should be given in marriage to another having a lesser status." Similarly, Sayyidah ` A'ishah ؓ and Sayyidna Anas ؓ have also stressed that kafa'ah (likeness) should be taken into consideration in nikah (marriage) - as reported from several authorities. Imam Ibn Humam has also written about it in details in Fath al-Qadir.
Hence, the outcome is that the consideration of kafa'ah (equalness and likeness) in nikah (marriage) is desirable in religion, so that the spouses live in accord and harmony. But, should some other important consideration, more important than this kafa'ah, come up, then, it is permissible for the woman and her guardians that they surrender this right of theirs and marry in ghayr kuf, that is, other than equal and like. Particularly so, when there is some religious consideration in sight - if so, it is better and more merit worthy to do so, as proved from several events pertaining to the noble Sahabah. Incidentally, from this we also know that these events do not negate the basic premise of the issue of kafa'ah. Allah knows best.