Tafsir of Surah Al-'Ankabut - Verse 9

Allah commands His servants to be dutiful to parents, after urging them to adhere to belief in His Tawhid, because a person's parents are the cause of his existence. So he must treat them with the utmost kindness and respect, his father for spending on him and his mother because of her compassion for him. Allah says:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّـهُ وَبِالْوَلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـناً إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا - وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا

(And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.") (17:23-24) Although Allah orders us to show kindness, mercy and respect towards them in return for their previous kindness, He says:

وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَآ

(but if they strive to make associate with Me, which you have no knowledge of, then obey them not.) meaning, if they are idolators, and they try to make you follow them in their religion, then beware of them, and do not obey them in that, for you will be brought back to Me on the Day of Resurrection, and Allah will reward you for your kindness towards them and your patience in adhering to your religion. It is Allah Who will gather you with the group of the righteous, not with the group of your parents, even though you were the closest of people to them in the world. For a person will be gathered on the Day of Resurrection with those whom he loves, meaning, religious love. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ الصَّـلِحَـتِ لَنُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ فِى الصَّـلِحِينَ

(And for those who believe and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with the righteous.) In his Tafsir of this Ayah, At-Tirmidhi recorded that Sa`d said: "Four Ayat were revealed concerning me -- and he told his story. He said: "Umm Sa`d said: `Did Allah not command you to honor your parents By Allah, I will not eat or drink anything until I die or you renounce Islam.' When they wanted to feed her, they would force her mouth open. Then this Ayah was revealed:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الإِنْسَـنَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْناً وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَآ

(And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you associate with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.)" This Hadith was also recorded by Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i. At-Tirmidhi said, "Hasan Sahih.

Commentary

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ (And We have instructed man - 29:8). Wasiyyah (وَصِیَّۃ) means to call someone for some action, when the call is based on advice and well wishing. (Mazhari)

بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا (to do good to his parents - 29:8). The Word Husn (حُسن) is an infinitive which means ' to be good'. at is meant here is to adopt good behavior. The meaning of the sentence is quite clear that Allah Ta’ ala has advised man to treat his parents kindly.

وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِ‌كَ بِي (And if they insist upon you that you should ascribe partners to Me - 29:8). It should be taken note of that the limit of kind treatment with parents should not go beyond the point where it comes in conflict with the injunctions of Allah Ta’ ala. If they force toward infidelity or associating some one with Allah, then they must not be obeyed, as advised in a hadith لَا طَاعَۃَ لِمَخلُوقِ فِی مَعصِیِّۃِ الخَالِق (A created being must not be obeyed in, disobedience of the Creator). This Hadith has been reported by Imam Ahmad and Hakim رحمۃ اللہ علیہما who has held it as Sahih).

This verse was revealed in connection with Sayyidna Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas ؓ . He was one of the ten companions to whom the Holy Prophet ﷺ had given the good news of being in paradise, and who are called Al-'Ashrah Al-mubashsharah. He was an extremely obedient son of his mother and was always alert to look after her comfort. When his mother, Hamnah hint Abi Sufyan, learnt that her son, Sa'd, had accepted Islam, she got very upset and warned him against that, and then swore an oath that she would neither eat nor drink unless he turned back to his ancestral religion, or she would die of thirst and hunger, and he would be blamed universally for being the killer of his mother. (Muslim, Tirmidhi). Through this Qur'anic verse Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ was commanded not to listen to his mother.

Baghawi has reported in his narration that the mother of Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ did not eat and drink for a day and night, and according to some other versions, for three days and three nights, and sticking to her oath, remained hungry and thirsty. For Sayyidna Sa'd ؓ mother's love and obedience was one thing, but Allah's command was another, which naturally took precedence over everything else. So he went to her and said to her firmly ` Dear mother, if there were hundred spirits in your body, and they were departing one by one, I would not have deserted my religion even seeing that scenario. It is now up to you whether you eat and drink or die. In any case I cannot abandon my religion'. Having been disappointed by his firmness, she started eating food.

Of all the creatures, a man’s parents have the greatest right over him. But, just as everything has a limit, so also do the parent’s rights have a limit, in the sense that—according to the Prophet’s tradition—‘no obedience may be shown to any creature if it means disobedience to the Creator.’ The rights of parents must be observed, but only so long as they do not clash with the rights of God. The moment a parent’s order clashes with God’s order, it becomes as necessary at that time not to follow his or her order as it is necessary to follow his or her order in ordinary circumstances. In Islam the rights of parents means service being due to them, but not worship.